Bandits of the Western Waters
by The-Author-Jaunvive
Summary: Oviously Jack! Aswell as my OC. A mix of romance and humour, to make, in my own opinion, a damn good story!


Hello peeps; this is just a "maybe" story. Don't know whether to continue with it. Well, you've all seen that wonderful little review button! And we all know what to do with it (. No, don't ignore it, PRESS IT (after you've read the story of course.) All comments welcome, but try not to be too mean, I'm very sensitive!  
  
The Bandits of the Western Waters.  
  
Chapter One: Throwing Caution To The Sea Because The Wind Didn't Want It.  
  
"Captain, beggin' your pardon, but it seems to me as though we're headin' to American waters." Said her first mate, Nathan Hews.  
  
"Well Hews, you'd be right."  
  
"Would that be wise, cap'n?" Hews asked cautiously, glancing nervously at his Captain.  
  
"Probably not, but it doesn't make any difference if it is or it isn't. I'm your Captain, and my orders are final, are they not, Mr. Hews?"  
  
"Aye, they are, they are, I meant no disrespect, Captain, old Hews meant no harm." Said Hews, sweeping into a low bow.  
  
"I know Hews. Trust me."  
  
"I wish you wouldn't say that." Said Hews, shaking his head morbidly. Captain Jaunvive D'Clifford, more commonly known as Captain Noir, flashed a mischievous grin to her first mate and oldest friend.  
  
"Like I always say, you've nothing to lose if you never had anything to begin with, savvy?"  
  
"I happen to enjoy having my head." Hews said wryly.  
  
"Then I suggest you don't lose it. They can be ghastly difficult to replace." She smiled and moved to the wheel, and called  
  
"All hands on deck, prepare the anchor! Ring in main sail! We're headed inland. Oh, and gentlemen, dress up, we're joining company!" Turning back to Hews, she said shrewdly,  
  
"You too, Hews. Didn't think you were lucky enough to escape it, did you?!"  
  
"No Captain, my luck ran out a long time ago. I just wish I could say I didn't miss it!"  
  
Captain Noir gazed upon her crew. A strange, motley bunch they were, but you were unlikely to come across more faithful pirates, she could guarantee it. She watched as Hews scampered off. Hardly a stereotypical pirate, she thought to herself. His strange, and somewhat, unusual, garb added to her fondness of him. Bright colours and exotic patterns certainly ensured him to stand out in a crowd, but he was friendly and the man had few, if any enemies. Nathan Hews was not the strangest soul on board. Jaunvive D'Clifford, French in origin, was one of only three female captains, all pirates of course. There were several differences between her and the other two women. Jaunvive D'Clifford had two ships, and two identities, which had proven to be extremely useful. Aboard her current vessel, she was known as Captain Noir of the Night Mist. This identity suited her in many ways. She was a toughened, merciless pirate who showed no weakness in life or in battle. The Night Mist was crewed entirely by men, except for herself, and even she was seen and referred to as a man. A female captain, or even a female sailor usually meant trouble, which was why she dressed as a man aboard The Night Mist. Being seen as a man also brought trouble, which reasoned why she had an alternate ship. The Lady Frost captained by the cold hearted Rein de Glace, or, The Ice Queen. Known by her crew either as Ice, or as Vive, Jaunvive rarely used her full name.  
  
Snapped out of her thoughts by the sight of the harbour, Jaunvive called to her crew,  
  
"Lower the anchor!"  
  
Jaunvive hurried to her quarters to prepare herself for the society of terra firma. Her present clothing, consisting of a long, faded black trench coat, white cotton shirt, cotton trousers, black elbow height leather gloves, black rimmed and buckled knee boots, habitual pirates hat with silver trimming, and typical eye patch covering her left eye, was rather inappropriate. Her other eye, both of which were both perfectly functional, shocking hazel in colour, was half hidden by a mass of auburn curls. Adorned on her elegant neck lay a silver chain and obsidian pendant, inlayed with emerald, in the form of a six-pointed star. On her belt were a variety of weapons, two pistols, a sword, cutlass, dagger, a whetstone and extra powder and bullets, all of which essential in a pirates life. As the ship settled in port, and the crew began to leave the ship, Jaunvive had completed her outfit. In place of a hardened pirate, stood a beautiful, stunningly elegant woman. Adorned in a periwinkle blue skirt and sleeves of silk, overlain with an embroidered cream, green and russet bodice, with silver fastenings. The pendant remained, but in place of the gloves, were a light cerulean blue parasol and fan, and instead of a pirates hat, lace a pearl beaded hair net holding section of copper brown ringlets, amidst the remains of her shining tresses.  
  
"I feel like I'm wearing a pair of curtains." She spoke to herself while looking in the mirror  
  
"But you look lovely."  
  
Jaunvive could recognise that voice anywhere.  
  
"Jack Sparrow, what are you doing on my ship?" she said with disdain, without turning around.  
  
"This is your ship? My, my, who would have guessed without the constant surge of curses flowing from the captain's quarters?" Jaunvive turned to face the doorway where Jack Sparrow, one of the most infamous pirates around the western waters.  
  
"Unbelievable as it may seem to you, or hard as it may be to grasp with you inferior intellect, I reserve cursing for frustrating moments when manners are futile. That is to say, whenever you're around. Now answer my question, and I won't shoot you for boarding my vessel without permission."  
  
"A little Sparrow told me, that due o last months, atrocious behaviour, you would need to make a trip to main land port. And since I know, you know certain, acquaintances, at Port Seleo, I knew that you'd have to visit the people you know, who I know, know you, to rectify said known behaviour. You know, you shouldn't let people know about that." Jack said grinning, stepping into the light of the cabin.  
  
"You have some nerve! 'Said known behaviour'?! It was your bloody fault, you reckless dog! How DARE you pin this on me, Jack Sparrow?!!" she shrieked.  
  
"Tut tut, here I was thinking you were polite. But you seemed rather thankful for my recklessness before." Jack remarked, grinning mischievously.  
  
"Thankful? You got me drunk on rum, very poor quality rum, I might add, then convinced me, somehow, to promenade around no less than naked on board your ship, afterwards seducing me into giving you a sponge bath!" Jaunvive screamed, lunging forward with her stretched towards his neck. Jack sidestepped and tripped her with his leg, catching her before she hit the floor, turning her round in his arms to face him.  
  
"Come now, you must have enjoyed the bath, I know I did, almost as much as the rum! And you admitted to have been seduced, you know." he chuckled. Jaunvive blushed, then began struggling while shouting  
  
"Why you, I ought to.!"  
  
"Ought to what? Give me another sponge bath? Brilliant idea!"  
  
"Argh! Infuriating beast, let, me, GO!"  
  
"As you wish." And he did.  
  
Jaunvive landed on the wooden decking with a thump and an  
  
"Oof!"  
  
"That hurt, mongrel!" she cried, getting up off the floor grimacing.  
  
"I'm hurt to the quick! How can I make it up to you? I know! You'll need some ointment rubbed in I guess, and I'll be very pleased to assist." Jack said grinning suggestively.  
  
"Of that I have no doubt," she said menacingly, then fluttering her eyelashes, and smiling softly," Actually, there is something you can do for me."  
  
"How can I be of service m'lady?" He bowed and stepped closer. Jaunvive brought her lips close to his ear, and breathed out slowly, feeling him shiver.  
  
"How about," she murmured softly, "YOU HANG YOURSELF!" She shouted in his ear.  
  
"Ow! You devious little strumpet, I can't hear in one ear! What's that ringing? Who's got a bell?!" Jack cried melodramatically.  
  
Jaunvive rolled her eyes and stepped away.  
  
"If you're going to travel in my company, I suggest you go down to the hold and fetch some suitable attire," Jaunvive turned her back to him and stepped towards the dresser, then added, "Oh, and leave the dresses alone, they're not your style."  
  
"Spoil all my fun why don't you!"  
  
"I'll take that as an invitation to ban you from Rum then, shall I?"  
  
"No, I'll be good, I promise! Just not the RUM!" Jaunvive smiled to herself.  
  
*He's not that bad, when he's sober.*  
  
She sat down at her vanity and studied herself in the mirror. When she was younger, people used to tell her how much she reminded them of her parents.  
  
The mind of her father, firm as stone, but the beauty of her mother, delicate but not fragile. Ethereal but natural. Like her mother's name, Terralisa. How she missed them. Their faces had begun to fade, mingled with fractions of memories from her childhood. Lost in the thick vapours of suppressed grief. When she was nine, she had been visiting the royal court with her friends, and while she was gone, her mother and father had been slaughtered in their home. She had fled, fled her life, fled her home, and fled her name. Jaunvive rested in farms and fishing villages, working for board. At sixteen, she began to blossom into a fine woman, and found herself being hounded after. That was where the decision to break off from a life on land, and venture to the sea and all it's wonders. She began manual labour in ports, building ships and other nautical equipment. She was strong for a woman of her size, and carried the materials needed to the shipyard. When she was 19, she had enough to buy a modest trading ship, and then went looking for a crew. That had been when she had met her parents' killers. On a Spanish isle, they kidnapped her, whipped her raw, and raped her. She still carried the scars, both mentally and physically.  
  
Jaunvive began to weep for parents, for her friends, for her life.  
  
*Jack was making his way back from the hold when he heard the distinct sound of sobbing. He had heard those same muffled cries when he had first met Jaunvive. Breaking into a run, he hurried to her cabin, slowing down outside her door. Jack opened it slowly and peered inside. Sat at her vanity table, head in her arms, Jaunvive wept, her sobs muffled by her dress. Her body shook with each tear shed, desperate for comfort. Jack walked up quietly behind her and laid a rough hand softly on her back.  
  
Jaunvive lifted her head slightly and said simply,  
  
"Hold me, Jack."  
  
Drawing her into his arms, Jack rubbed her back making soothing sounds as she silently cried.  
  
The paradox hit Jack's mind, bitter as the salt waves lapping on the side of a ship. Jack had only ever seen Jaunvive cry once before. Jack had been on a remote Spanish island when he had found her alone and frightened. He had heard of Nicole and Pierre D'Clifford's deaths, they were known by every pirate in the ocean, offering protection for manual labour in their home, Jack had stayed in their home many years ago with his father. Because of this he recognised their daughter instantly. After years thought he came to the conclusion that she was not only weeping for her parents deaths. But he would not ask, she would tell him if she needed too, besides, even if he did ask she would never tell him.*  
  
Jaunvive's body stilled and her sobbing had ceased. Her head rose from his chest and she looked into his eyes.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Think nothing of it love, savvy?"  
  
"Aye, savvy."  
  
"Now, clean yourself up, I'll get changed, then lets get going before we're unfashionably late."  
  
Nodding, Jaunvive faced away from Jack to wash her face. Glancing into the mirror she witnessed one of the sexiest things she had ever seen. A tanned, lithe form appeared from under a grubby white cotton shirt, a trace of dark hair beginning beneath his navel, disappearing into a pair of faded black breaches. Jack chose that precise moment to look into the mirror and wink at her reflection. Jaunvive blushed and avoided his gaze, busying herself with her dress.  
  
A short while later, Jack announced himself ready and Jaunvive turned around to face him, her eyebrows rising at his appearance. Wearing a pair of long charcoal trousers, tucked into smart leather boots, and a clean white shirt under a basic black jacket. His hair was still adorned with a jumble of beads, but brushed neatly and no longer sashed with his red bandanna.  
  
"Well, well, well. You do clean up nicely, don't you?"  
  
"I don't know, but I shall take your word for it, as you so thoroughly examined my. figure." Jack said roguishly.  
  
"Well, excuse me if I don't want to go into public with something that looks worse than the filth you grew up in." She remarked objectively, but all she got in return was a suggestive wink. She sighed and grumbled, "You are impossible."  
  
"And you, my dear, are entice able."  
  
"Just try to act like a gentlemen, please?"  
  
"Of course I'll try."  
  
All Jack heard next was something that sounded remarkably like, "God save us all." He offered his arm, Jaunvive accepted it unobjectionably and he escorted her off the ship.  
  
"So, where are we going then?" Jack asked seemingly uninterested.  
  
Jaunvive fixed him with a hard stare. "I thought you knew?!"  
  
"I had my speculations."  
  
"Typical. I'm visiting an old, friend, as it were, the Governor of Port Seleo. He and I have a little business problem, which needs attending to."  
  
"Ah, I thought so."  
  
"I bet you did." She commented, rolling her eyes.  
  
"You gamble? Jack asked innocently.  
  
"Just be quiet and for God's sake, be a GENTLEMEN!"  
  
"Fine, fine, don't make a scene.so, where does this Governor live anyway?"  
  
"Oh, we're not going to his house. We're going to a house, though."  
  
"What type of house?"  
  
"One that vagabonds such as yourselves find immensely, pleasurable, or so I hear."  
  
"A WHORE HOUSE?!!"  
  
"Be quiet! Do you want the entire of Spain to know? "  
  
"Sorry."  
  
She looked at him pointedly, and then remarked dryly, "Amazing how you managed to guess so precisely, isn't it?"  
  
"Elementary, my dear. Elementary. "  
  
She rolled her eyes and replied, "Sure."  
  
"Quickly, we need to catch him 'in the act', if you know what I mean. Don't answer that." She said as they approached the local prostitute's abode.  
  
"Mmmhmm." Jack made a non-descript noise at the back of his throat as a prostitute with more chest baggage than her dress appeared to have room for walked past.  
  
"Jack. Jack. JACK! Snap out of it, she's just an overly sized harlot; although, I don't suspect you care. If you deem it necessary, I'm sure you'll find time in your busy schedule to visit this particular residence after we're finished."  
  
"You mean when you're finished."  
  
"No. You're here to be my 'financer' as it were." She said wryly.  
  
"Well, I shan't need to come back here with an offer like that."  
  
"It wasn't an offer, nor will it ever be. Come here." She said, pulling him round the corner.  
  
"Is my dress low enough?"  
  
"Are you serious?" Jack asked cautiously.  
  
"Yes! Now, answer my question, these are going to get us in there." Jaunvive gestured to the building with her head.  
  
"Well, it could be a bit lower."  
  
"How low?"  
  
"This low." And he promptly tugged her neckline lower.  
  
"Jack Sparrow! Do you mind? I have a dagger in there!" she exclaimed.  
  
Jack eyed her cleavage as her hand flew to her chest.  
  
"To be honest, I don't mind."  
  
Jaunvive rolled her eyes and said, "Why does that not surprise me? Don't answer that. How do I look?"  
  
"Like a complete, well dressed, whore."  
  
"Good. Let's go, oh, and keep the swaying up, it's good for business." she commented shrewdly.  
  
"I'm not even going to ask."  
  
"Excellent decision."  
  
Jack and Jaunvive strolled through a large wooden gate leading into a dank courtyard. Voluptuous women gathered round drunken men, and raucous cackling could be heard from all sides. Jaunvive stopped and turned to Jack. "Hold these for me." And handed over her parasol and fan. On the horizon the sun began to sink behind a drapery of cerulean blue and crimson waves.  
  
As Jaunvive gazed across the water, Jack saw her eyes set in determination.  
  
She turned back towards the building and added,  
  
"Don't forget, you're supposed to be drunk."  
  
"That is entirely too easy, love."  
  
Well, that's it so far folks. Continuation is subject to appeal (. Don't feel shy! I'm actually enjoying writing this, but shan't continue unless wanted. REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! 


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